oedipus

Oedipus complex : is a group of largely unconscious (dynamically repressed) ideas and feelings which concentrate on the desire to possess the parent of the opposite sex and eliminate the parent of the same sex. The name was taken from Greek mythical legend of King Oedipus who unknowingly killed his father and married his mother.

“The boy thus returns to the mother as a separate individual. That separation may be emphasized with scorn and a sense of mastery over women. that can also be seen in the long separation of boys and girls in play and social relationships. This is a source of male denigration of women.”

In the 21^st century we refer to these males as mama's boys.

How to identify these men through behavior :

1- Often these men are afraid to stand up to their mothers. These mothers are typically mothers who interferes with their sons affairs. The son usually finds much enjoyment through this.

2- These men, wont want to move away from their mothers. Perhaps even insist on living with her..even if your married to him already.

He is 27 years old, and still lives with his mom.

3- He can not make any decisions sans his mother. She buys him clothes. He calls her if he requires any advice, regarding anything...even sexual advice...sigh, no wonder!

4- He needs to call her everyday, obviously more than 5 times..

5- He looks at his mother for answers when it comes to making choses regarding your child. Not you, his wife.

6- He usually doesn’t have a spine.

7- He runs home, every time you have a fight.

8- He will want his mother to walk down the isle, on your wedding day with you – his future wife.

Unfortunately I have been a victim of such a mama's boy. I can only say that it has partly destroyed my marriage as well as my views regarding most men. They usually are completely oblivious and in denial of this as well, which ads to the problem tremendously.

I have however become rather paranoid and suspicious when meeting new men. I have a very specific list now.

Note to self, Watch out for :

1- Mother -in -law walks into the bathroom while your having a bath with your husband and sits down to chat.

2- She makes you feel bad for not giving her keys and free access to your home.

3- She informs you of all the other woman her son could have been with and that the one did win a nobel peace price.

4- She insists on buying and choosing your husbands clothes.

5- She always has to host sunday lunch, your husbands birthday and every other event, as your “just not good enough”

6- She insist you have a natural birth, sans any pain killers, otherwise your a weak woman, with no real pain threshold.

I should have known that 12 phone calls a day as well as the constant insisting of having to live with his mother after our wedding, being pregnant at that, were all major clues. Then again, I wasn’t playing Sherlock Holmes at the time.

As the saying goes – Q: Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother-in-law?

A: A vicious dog eventually lets go!

The Bible, Qu-ran and the Tanakh, all talk sense when it comes to separating from your parents when you become one with your partner.

I quote : Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

I don’t recall seeing my mother in law standing in the front of the priest, saying “I do”

She has had her turn, and should have let me have mine.

Life’s journeys allows us to all have a turn at fulfilling our roles. Trying to constantly have take control over somebody else’s roles, will only destroy everyone. Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire.

I have no control over this, but I do know that if God had the power to shut the lions mouth, caged in with Daniel, I am sure He can also perhaps do the same regarding my mother-in-laws mouth.