its over

As I have closed my virtual friends networking, I am now stuck with many thoughts, which I am unable to update as my status.

So dear diary. I shall now fill you with my mind and whatever it contains.

I have come to realize, that divorce is not a game. Its serious. If you want to play games, play Monopoly with your kids. If you dont have kids, do a crossword puzzle.

But never, I repeat never, treat divorce as a game.

Unfortunately our skin is not as thick as it appears to be when lying on a surgeons table, having to cut through three layers of skin. The skin functions as a protective barrier, that interfaces with a sometimes-hostile environment. However, our skin reveals some of our conditions as well, as it is the largest organ in our body. Whenever something is abnormal inside our bodies, it reveals itself through the skin.

It also baffles me, and always have, as to why people slit their wrist when trying to commit suicide. The skin around ones palms and soles are the thickest at 1.5mm. Is this due to unsurity of really takings ones life, or the human need to feel torture?

Nevertheless, circumstances cant be obstructed by our skin. As thick as it may seem, it goes straight through with a sharp pointing arrow aiming straight for our hearts.

It enters the aorta, the largest single blood vessel in the body. This vessel carries oxygen rich blood to various parts of the body. Unfortunately with this arrow, this weapon of mass destruction, it obstructs the oxygen delivery to your body, and with no preparation at all, those words “its over” shuts down your brain and your bodily functions are with immediate effect out of order.

The control one has over this is minimal as it catches you of guard. Look what happened to Pearl Harbour. The consequences were vast. It meant a lot of things. Most of all, it caused retaliation, which concluded in Hiroshima. This human functioning of retaliation has been in practice for decades. I think the only man that walked this earth who didnt have this natural, human mentality was Jesus.

I quote ; You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Personally I prefer eye for an eye. I prefer not to give someone my cloak if one sues me. I am only human, gosh, sue me for being honest.

I can only say this, as I have been through seven months of court battles, very similar to the second world war and to spice things up, bits of holocaust torturing in between.

I never knew my ex husband had similar personality straits to Hitler until I Googled Narcissism.

In simple words; Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who had never seen his reflection. The nymph Echo had been punished by Hera for gossiping by being cursed to forever "have the last word". Echo had seen Narcissus walking through the forest and wanted to talk to him, but because of the curse she wasn't able to speak first. When Narcissus became thirsty and stopped to take a drink, he saw his reflection in the water for the first time. Not knowing any better, he fell in love and started talking to it. Echo had been following him and started repeating the last thing he said. Not yet understanding reflections, Narcissus thought his reflection was speaking to him and became more engaged. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus pined away at the pool and changed into the flower that bears his name, the narcissus..

Now, read the story again, and instead of reading the word Narcissus, use the name James instead.