Dear dear Santa claus...

Santa Claus, the perfect woman, the perfect man and the Tooth Fairy get into a car accident -- who survives?

Answer: The perfect woman, because the other three don't exist.....

This question has been running through my head for a while...now dont roll your eyes so far back into your head that your head explodes...

Question : Does Prince charming really exist?

More appropriate question, what qualities would prince charming have if he did however exist amongst the thorns out there?

The classical description of “prince charming” is – a typically well groomed adolescent. He frequently wears a sash or ribbon around his princely uniform, and often sports a small, waxed moustache.

Uhm....

The next question that arises is, why were Snow white, Cinderella and Sleeping beauty so easily satisfied?

How desperate were they? I suppose they all initially had legitimate reasoning behind their romances. Cinderella really didn't have it good. Sleeping beauty and Snow whites, lives depended on it. In all reality, they kind of did need that kiss in order to awake their death sentences. 

Obviously this will follow with a whole new set of questions. What man knows how to kiss a woman to awake her from such a deep sleep, what if his breath was unbearable and his moustache had chunks of food in it, what man, who lives in a castle would actually notice a shoe on his steps, never mind, go out and try and find the woman it belongs to? I could carry on, but there are more important questions needing to be answered...

I was only married for two years. My, not so prince charming had a totally different view on satisfying my needs. 

For instance, his ideal weekend consisted purely out of – time out. Now, time-out to some  of us means, a stroll on the beach, accompanied by a cocktail, watching the sun set in each others eyes, ending off with perhaps an unexpected bunch of flowers, or putting it in a more specific term – time together.

Well well well, if that's what you think your marriage weekends might consist of, think again...long and hard, and then long again.

"Time out" consist of : playing TV games, surfing, watching TV, staring at the wall (just because), scratching balls, spending at least two hours on the loo, going out with male friends or sitting in front of the computer, cause there is always something that needs to be done on the computer.

I suppose it is, in fact essential for men to take "time out". It must be challenging returning home from an enduring, tough day at work, to his wife, who just; cooked, went to work, cleaned, sorted the kids out, gymed, fixed the light bulbs as well as the door that's been off its hinges for months now and still manages to look absolutely fabulous in order for her husband to not start noticing his 22 year old secretaries legs and forget the colour of her eyes.

I personally dont think I am asking for much. I really dont expect my husband to come home every night with a bunch of flowers and massage my feet with lavender oils and then serenade me a poem that he wrote that day, during his lunch hour. In fact, that would be off putting, and by no means romantic.

I think, prince charming, would know what I needed without me having to tell him. Prince charming would not wait until wicked whiny witch from the west comes for a visit - and then doubting myself being bi-polar - before attending to my needs/household needs. The perfect man, does not need to be asked to do something....he just knows.

Hereby I dont mean he must be able to read minds, I merely mean he must have a mind of his own. A brain. He must be able to tap into all aspects of his brain, and in some file, perhaps on the right side, he will find -

Be sensitive

Love her unconditionally, just the way she is

Surprise her occasionally (not by telling her your fired)

Take out the trash

Encourage her/support her

Kiss her unexpectedly

Hold her hand

Always lie when the question “do I look fat in this” get proposed.

Laugh at her lame jokes

Just pretend to like “Gossip Girl”

Ask directions

Take the kids out on a Saturday, while she stays at home with a good read.

Praise her cooking

Just listen

Love her a lot and dont try to understand her at all.

See her imperfections, perfectly...

Look. I am not saying he is not out there, but your chances are more likely, that you'll see a shocking pink, black dotted duck flying backwards. If you have seen this, well, let me know where.

I personally have not encountered prince charming myself. Why this is worrying is mostly because I am in my peak, being quite young and all. If I cant seem to find Mr perfect when my breast aren't resting on my feet yet, well, things aren't looking too great.

.

To end off, I found this poem, which I found quite true. Otherwise, let me know if you spot that duck somewhere....

"The Perfect Man"

The perfect man is gentle—
Never cruel or mean.
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side;
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking,
Cleaning, and vacuuming too
He’ll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on you.

The perfect man is sweet,
Writing poetry from your name.
He’s a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in anyway.
Oh, screw this stupid poem!
The perfect man is gay!